We set out to do something. Go somewhere. Why? Because we had arranged two days off together. The idea was to drive in a certain direction and stop if we found something interesting and we did.
Perched high above Stirling is a castle, it has a lot background and amazing history. It is birthplace and deathbed to many of the characters depicted in Mel Gibson’s Braveheart, except here with the rolling green mountains and worn statues, the history is in your face and seems much more alive.
We spend an afternoon driving and walking around Stirling learning about the battles and the triumphs, stopping by at an “all you can eat diner” somewhere in-between for 6 helpings of very thin pizza and some cold pasta salad. Very filling, even for three young men with an undying hunger for adventure.
We return to the van and for whatever reason decide to bleach our hair starting with mine, then Mick’s and finishing up on JAG. I was happy with mine, it had style and wasn’t as ridiculously yellow as Mick’s. But this hairdressing had gone to Mick’s head and out came the clippers. I cringed at the thought, but it was too late, the cutting had begun and just as quickly finished. The result, not too bad for an untrained hand and it should save me a few quid, before the afro takes over again.
The night out in Stirling began quietly. Some out-of-practice Karaoke in a sports theme bar, which seemed to close as soon as it opened. So before leaving we took a pit stop to the toilet and found ourselves a vending machine with a difference. No multi-colored/flavour condoms here, it seems Scotland has taken the vending machine thing too far. We stood there and pondered what to purchase, choc-agra? Blow-up willy? Pleasure toys? No not for us… we decided on the inflatable sheep, and named her Rosemary. That night the three of us, plus one hit the town for a night filled with inflatable fun. To my amazement, we had girls all over us, which is odd for us. All night we danced, and drank £1.50 uni drinks and we were in heaven. Now forgive me if I seem to embellish, but we seemed to have ladies lining up to talk to us. To this day, we have not been able to ascertain if this added attention was due to the crazy bleached hair, handle bar moustaches (Yes, Jag and Mick grew handle bar moustaches), Aussie accents or most likely because of our new inflatable friend.
The night swept by and our inflated egos continued into a flat of young uni students, where JAG ripped up the tunes all night as the girls sang along, until we awoke in Van Damme with sore heads. But determined to make the most out of the “Scottish” experience and remainder of our day, at 4:00pm we headed to a African themed Safari Park for some exotic animal and peddle-boat action. Not exactly the Scottish experience we had intended, but with ice-cream in hand and the sun’s rays occasionally beating down, we felt free. On the other side of the world and free as you can be in the restraints of a peddle-boat in a man-made lake, but we weren’t working and that for us was freedom!
Road trip, we just drove… General idea… no set plan… just where we ended up.
Chance to stretch van dames legs… Country side… Drunken hair dye into a hair cut… testing shower… Standing at the birthplace of William Wallace… Accidental history lesson… Learning about it as I walked across the land… Mel Gibson statue at the bottom of the Wallace monument…
Started off slow… Meeting random people in the toilet, whilst checking out the unique vending machines… the following night included a blow up sheep and an uncanny amount of attention from girls because of it, all culminating in a night of playing guitar in a room of sexy female Scottish uni-students. The sun glasses and safari park and home.
(NOTE FROM JAG: If you’re thinking maybe Lee got drunk as he was writing the last paragraph of this journal, you’d be wrong… Although it was a mighty fine guess. The completed journal has been lost and this draft is all we have been able to salvage. It was written up until this point and then, Lee had jotted down some dot points he was going to talk about and expand on. Unfortunately, this is all you get so if you want some dot point expansion, you’re shit out of luck!… Tell them to buy DVDs… Talk about something funny… Mention that you are drunk… witty conclusion… sign out with name… Jag)